How to Prepare Your Children for Greatness

I cannot play basketball like Michael Jordan or the violin like Itzhak Perlman. Neither can you. What did they have that I do not? Why could they perform the way they did while I am only skilled enough at their craft to watch? In the first place they had the gifts for it. Built into the genetic formula for these two very different men was a treasure of giftedness few people have.

Another difference between these two men and the rest of us is the time and effort they put into developing those gifts. While you and I were watching television as children, Michael Jordan at the same age was dribbling and shooting baskets. Itzhak Perlman was practicing his scales and double stops. They invested their freedom in disciplined practice of their skills while most of us were using up our freedom at something else. Ultimately they had the freedom to perform as one in a million can, while the rest of us are not free to do that.

My guess is that somebody, somewhere along the way, helped these two stars with their training. No matter what his gifts, everyone needs help. They were taught the basic principles of their craft, the technique for every skill they would need. And they practiced. They practiced hours. They practiced devotedly. They were driven to practice insatiably while other young people were making softer decisions about their time.

. . . You have to choose what you will be good at because you can be good at only a very few things.
— Wayne McDill, 12 Essential Skills for Great Preaching

It is not too late.

It is not too late to devote your life to a great thing. Find what God built into you to do. Pick something that brings glory to God and changes peoples lives. I may not be something that earns you lots of money or fame. That doesn’t matter. Do it for God. Do it for love.

Aside from how personally challenging this is, I am also asking myself some questions as a parent.

  • Am I giving my children a vision for greatness and excellence?
  • Am I helping my children identify the gifts and talents God has given them?
  • Am I empowering them to develop these insatiably for God’s glory?
  • Am I expecting more from them than the average expectation of our culture?
  • Am I teaching them the fundamental truths of discipline and freedom?
  • Am I encouraging my children to invest their freedom instead of making softer decisions?
They invested their freedom in disciplined practice of their skills while most of us were using up our freedom at something else. Ultimately they had the freedom to perform as one in a million can.
— Wayne McDill



Freedom is not the absence of discipline;
Freedom is the fruit of discipline

A New Tool for Parents' MOST Important Job

What is THE most important thing you can do as a parent?

Teach your children to follow Jesus.

What is one of THE most important ways to do this? Read the Bible to your children and teach them from it.

There are many wonderful ways to do this. One of the ways we have done this is to gather the whole family into the living room in the evening before bedtime and read the Bible in Stories. The Bible in Stories is a unique, high quality, three-volume set of illustrated Bible stories.

For the first time EVER, the Bible in Stories is for sale online TODAY! They will be available for purchase Nov 6 through Nov 13th. That is only one week to check it out and buy!

If you are interested in learning more, here is how to do it: go to this link and sign up with your email address. You will have FREE immediate access to several valuable items:

  • a set of videos recorded by a good friend of mine who shares the history of Bible in Stories and other tips about keeping our priorities straight and time management.
  • a free download of the C.H. Spurgeon's daily devotional Morning & Evening.
  • a demo video and explanation of the Bible in Stories.

How to Stop Arguing with Your Kids

Kathryn, age 6

Kathryn, age 6

Even after I have (often) promised myself I was going to stop, I still argue with my children. And I don’t mean a calm, reasoned discussion (a possible definition of argument). I mean a heated, frustrating quarrel!

I want to be kind and gentle, but I still find myself becoming irritated and impatient. Here are a few things I am learning about how to be calm, gentle, and loving in my interactions with my children:

1.  Don’t take it personally.

I have noticed that I most often get irritated and upset because my pride has been ruffled. I don’t like being ignored, disregarded, or disrespected. Jesus expects me to be able (and he enables me!) to love those who mistreat me. It is strange to apply that to my children, but it works. I must respond in love to those around me no matter how they treat me. Love is patient and kind.

2.  Get over your plans.

Another reason I get irritated and impatient is that things are not going like I want them to! I have a plan. I have a lot to do. Why can’t everyone just cooperate!

It helps when I get over my plans and get lined up with God’s purpose for me. Second to loving God (which really helps me stay calm), we are to love each other. My overriding agenda is to love the people I encounter, no matter what my plans are. Would the interactions I have with my children looks different if my greatest goal was to love them and help them follow Jesus?

3.  Stop being a people-pleaser.

It bothers me when people are unhappy with me or don’t approve of what I do. I have recently discovered that this applies to my children too (they are people!!). I sometimes fall into the trap of trying to appease them, argue with them, or even compromise in order to make peace. When this doe not work (and it usually doesn’t), I get sucked further into a frustrating argument.

It may be counter intuitive, but I have learned that I can be more loving and gentle when I decide that it doesn’t matter if my children are pleased with me. Since my job is to teach and train them, it is an absolute certainty that they will not be happy with me. I must patiently accept that as part of my job.

What have you learned? Will you share some helpful tips for how to interact with our children in a calm and gentle way?


How to Solve Problems in Your Relationships [Podcast #17]

This podcast episode is the third and final part of the session I taught at the North Carolinians for Home Education Conference, "How to Stop the Fighting in Your Home." You can view the prezi for this session here.

It is a brief explanation of the 9 Steps for Conflict Resolution I have already blogged about in several posts that starts here, or I have consolidated into one article.

Teach your children biblical conflict resolution. 

  • Give space (James 1:19).
  • Check yourself  (Matt 7:3-5).
  • Let go of anger (Eph 4:26-27; Matt 18:21-35).
  • Love (Mark 12:30; Gal 5:14).
  • Pray (Matt 5:44; James 1:5-8).
  • Talk about it (Prov 18:13;15:1).
  • Discern the issue (Rom 14:1-12).
  • Speak the truth (Matt 18:15; Eph 4:15; Gal 6:1).
  • Give space

How to Help Your Children Stop Fighting [Podcast #16]

This podcast episode is the second part of the session I taught at the North Carolinians for Home Education Conference, "How to Stop the Fighting in Your Home." You can view the prezi for this session here.

 

2.        Set basic rules of engagement.

  • No yelling
  • No violence.
  • No manipulation

3.        Teach your children to speak truth to one another (Eph 4:15; Matt 18:15-17).

Teach them the Matt 18 process:

  • Speak to the other person privately.
  • Ask another person to help verify problem (I don’t require this step).
  • Go to those in authority to handle the situation.

Steps 5-8 for How to Help Your Children Become Self-Motivated [Podcast #12]

Here is the third and last episode in the podcast series about How to Help Your Children Become Self-Motivated. This is part of the recording of a workshop I presented at the annual North Carolinians for Home Education Conference 2014.

The first part is Foundations for Helping Your Children Become Self-Motivated [Podcast #10]. The second part is Steps 1-4 for How to Help Your Children Become Self-Motivated [Podcast #11].

You can return to the notes post for the entire workshop to view and download the notes or view the prezi.

I would love to hear your comments and questions, so please leave a comment here or send your question to matthew@truthtofreedom.org!

Free Downloads & Resources

I started a brand new page that will be filled with free downloads and resources! There will be two types of content, audio recording and documents.

I have loved producing the Truth to Freedom podcast, and will continue to do so. There is also a desire, though, to have the Bible teachings available in an archive where they can be organized and downloaded. I have recently started a series on Genesis, chapter 1. I just uploaded the teaching from Sunday, which is part 4. It is titled "God Is Good" and focuses on Gen 1:2. Soon I will put up parts 1-3.

Also available is the full recordings of one of the sessions I gave at the annual North Carolinians for Home Education Conference: How to Help Your Children Become Self-Motivated.

Documents currently available include the free e-book on Elders in the Church, an essay on Biblical Conflict Resolution, and an essay on Ministry Appointment and Ministry Commission. Many more to come!