How to Help Your Children Become Self Motivated

Here is the outline for my first workshop at the NCHE Conference. You can download it as a PDF and you can view the prezi I used for the presentation.

Session 4 Friday 11:00 a.m.-12:00
(Room B-D)

Foundations

  • The ultimate goal for parents is to raise mature, Christ loving believers.
  • Parenting should move from discipline to discipleship, from external motivation to internal motivation.

How to Help Your Children Become Self-Motivated

  1. Pray for your children to surrender their hearts to Christ (Eph 3:14-21).
  2. Teach your children truth from God’s Word (Psalm 19:7-11).
  3. Teach your children God’s purpose for life and how everything we do fits into it (Deut 6:4-9).
  4. Encourage and affirm your children (1 Thess 2:11-12).
  5. Offer new responsibility and freedom in response to obedience and respect (Matt 25:14-30).
  6.  Correction can take the form of discipleship, instead of discipline, when there is respect and teachability (Psalm 25:8-15; 32:8-9).
  7. Give freedom to make their own choices so they can develop conviction (Heb 5:14).
  8. Help your children discover their gifts, talents, and interests and free and equip your children to purse them (Eph 4:7, 11-12).

One of My Favorite Conferences

We leave Thursday for the annual North Carolinian's for Home Education Conference. This is one of my favorite conferences. A few years ago I wrote out about the top ten highlights of the conference.

Another highlight for me that has developed over the last few years is the opportunity to teach a couple of the workshops. Here are the workshops I'm presenting this year:

Session 4 Friday 11:00 a.m.-12:00 noon

How to Help Your Children Become Self-Motivated—Are you tired of working so hard to get your child to do their work or make the right choices? When will they be self-motivated? How can you help them develop this? Discipline is when parents provide external motivation for right choices (which is a necessary part of the process). Discipleship is when parents help children develop their own motivation for making the right choices because of their love for Christ. In this session, we will discuss how to make the difficult transition from discipline to discipleship. You will receive practical tips on helping your child develop godly self-motivation.

Session 11 Saturday 1:50-2:50 p.m.

How to Stop the Fighting in Your Home—Are you fed up with the ugly talk and fighting in your home? Amazingly, it is easier to be polite and patient with those outside the family than with those we love the most! A major part of preparing our children for life is teaching them how to interact with others. In this session, we will apply biblical conflict resolution principles to the relationships in your home. You will receive practical tools for how to teach your children to handle conflict (and how to practice it yourself!).

If you are a home educator (or want to be) in North Carolina (or near enough to come) and you have not yet planned to come, you might want to consider it. I don't think you will regret it.

Fun Family Time, Great Food, and Home School Encouragement

Coming up at Cherokee Cove is the annual Home School Family Camp Out. Go HERE to see more details about this event and sign up today!

I will be teaching on the following two topics in four sessions:

How to Stop the Fighting in Your Home

Are you fed up with the ugly talk and fighting in your home? Amazingly, it is easier to be polite and patient with those outside the family than those we love the most! A major part of preparing our children for life is teaching them how to interact with others. In this session, we will apply biblical conflict resolution principles to the relationships in your home. You will receive practical tools for how to teach your children to handle conflict (and how to practice it yourself!).

How to Help Your Children Become Self-Motivated

Are you tired of working so hard to get your child to do their work or make the right choices? When will they be self-motivated? How can you help them develop this? Discipline is when parents provide external motivation for right choices (which is a necessary part of the process). Discipleship is when parents help children develop their own motivation for making the right choices because of their love for Christ. In this session, we will discuss how to make the difficult transition from discipline to discipleship. You will receive practical tips on helping your child develop godly self-motivation.


Wild Foods!

Bethany, our eldest daughter who just turned 14, is a "wild foods enthusiast." What did she do on her Birthday? Go foraging with friends Margaret Wilkes and Mimi Baker (in the rain).

She was recently asked to write up some of her thoughts and experiences with wild foods. If you don't know what "wild foods" are, she explains it in the essay.

"When my family and I went over to Holly Drake’s house (my wild foods mentor), she taught me all about the Burdock plant. When I asked if the leaves were edible, she said, “Yes, but they are nasty.” My brother and I decided to see what she meant by nasty . . . it was the nastiest thing I had ever tasted! That was the first day I got hooked on wild foods. 

"When I say wild foods I basically mean plants that are edible. Most people would consider these plants weeds. You can find wild foods in fields, woods, gardens, pots, and any space where a weed can grow.

"There are two different uses of plants, medicinal and culinary. Medicinal means plants that are mostly for medicine and culinary means plants that are mostly for eating. But when we are talking about wild foods, I definitely agree with Hippocrates when he said “Let food be thy medicine and Medicine be thy food.” These foods are so good for you that it is hard to get sick if you are eating them on a regular basis.

"There are two basic ways you can harvest these plants. You can go out on a big hike, not knowing what you are going to harvest, and take extra supplies along (backpack, knife, scissors, etc.), or you can go to a place where you know that you can find a certain weed in your back yard to throw into your salad. Both are important and fun.

"When my family moved to a new house, I had not been up in the woods behind our house much. When a friend of my brothers asked if he could come over to look for deer tracks with them, I decided to go along. All the way I was exclaiming about all the plants that I was finding. I would say, “Oh, look at all the Beebalm, it is so medicinal and makes such a yummy tea;” and, “Look at the Hawthorn tree; that is so good for heart problems.” Finally my brothers and their friend told me that I was crazy!

"So why do I do it? Well, there are lots of reasons. The top three are probably health, exercise, and independence. The grocery stores are selling fruits and vegetables, but they are usually shipped from far away, genetically modified, and sprayed with bug poison. All of these things are not good for our bodies! But with wild foods, we know where our food is coming from, we know that they are fresh, we know that they are not genetically modified, and, if we are careful of where we harvest, we know that they are not sprayed with harmful things.

"Some of the medicines we are taking today are just covering the symptoms of our problems and sicknesses, not dealing with the actual causes. Many of these wild foods deal with the actual problem. Here are some examples of what these plants can do: Plantain is good for beestings and splinters. Dandelion is good for your liver and Pine needle are a good source of vitamin C.

"Another reason I enjoy wild foods is the exercise. Exercise is important and when you are digging up all different kinds of roots, you are definitely getting some good exercise! The last main reason is independence. Wild foods are even more sustainable than gardening. So, if there was to be some kind of disaster, I know that my family would not starve.

"When I first moved to Boone, NC, I was about six. I only had one friend. One day I decided to make a confession, so I just blurted it out, “Meredith, I like, I like . . . mud and worms!” She turned to me and said “ME TOO!” We were good friends from then on.

"It is true. I love to touch things, taste things, and smell things. This is a perfect hobby for me because I can touch the fluffy milkweed seeds, I can taste the fragrant peppermint leaves, and smell the sweet milkweed blossoms. Before I became interested in this I would always be touching things in my house, and my Dad would say “Bethany! Would you just STOP touching things!” But now I can use this desire in a healthy way.

"The last reason I love it is that I just love being outside. I love the sunshine and fresh air. It is a great way to get my energy out. Wild foods are important to me and I hope that I have shared why. And I also hope that other people will be inspired to pursue wild foods."

Workshops @NCHE

I just finished my first workshop at the NCHE Conference. It was a lot of fun; great crowd! Below is the prezi I am using for both workshops. The one I just presented, "Equipping Children for Life with Three Critical Skills" come in the second part of the prezi (the second cloud). The first part, "A Basic Educational Strategy," will be presented tomorrow at 4:50pm.

Tom Sawyer

I just finished reading The Adventures of Tom Sawyer​ again. Lots of fun! Great adventure and drama, characterization, and historical period interest. Hilariously and well written. Mark Twain did an amazing job of presenting these adventures exclusively from the perspective of a young boy, while at the same time making some decidedly insightful observations about human nature (adults in particular).

Is this a good book to include in the reading list for your children? Yes! However, there are certainly some murderous and gruesome aspects. It may not meet your standards for younger children. My strategy is to carefully allow my children to experience real life and help them understand it from a biblical worldview. 

​Another important thing to be aware of is that Tom and Huck are not operating from a biblical worldview. And their view of those that seem to be is less than flattering. There is a certain morality in the story as the boys become heroes for choosing to tell the hard truth, at their own peril, for the benefit of others! However, the book also ends with their certain intent to become "robbers".  The boys are at the time of life when playtime and reality are blurred. This might be difficult for young readers to process.

It is worth reading. It is worth letting your children read, if you are prepared to help them process it. But that should be normal life, anyway.

Scripture Memory Review System

Over the years, I have developed a Scripture Memory Review system. I have recently written out the rational and instructions again for my children to use. The importance of Scripture memory has also come up recently in several teaching contexts. I am pasting here the rational. You can download the entire document, which includes instructions and review charts, HERE.

“I have hidden Your Word in my heart that I might not sin against You.”

Psalm 119:11

            The challenge of memorizing Scripture is not just memorizing it the first time, but remembering it after that. I have spent much time memorizing large portions of Scripture that I did not review and therefore could not remember months later. To remedy this, I use a Scripture Memory Review System.

Memorizing Scripture is challenging. It is often challenging because, as a culture, we are not in the habit of memorizing. However, the more you do it (and the earlier you teach your children to learn it), the more accustomed our minds will become to it. Don’t quit because it is hard at first; keep training your memory muscle and it will become stronger.

Memorizing Scripture and using a review system also takes time. Is it worth it?

  • How important is it to understand who God is and his will for our lives (Eph 5:15-17)?
  • How important is it to be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Rom 12:1-2; Psalm 19:7-14)?
  • How can we live out our freedom in Christ from sin (Psalm 11:9-11; Matt 4:1-11; John 8:31-32)?
  • How can we have victory in the spiritual battle and escape from deception (Eph 6:10-17; Col 3:16; Titus 1:9)?
  • How can we be equipped for every good work (1 Tim 3:16-17)?

Here is David’s conclusion about the words of the Lord,

“More to be desired are they than gold, even much fine gold; Sweeter also than honey and drippings of the honeycomb. Moreover, by them is your servant warned; In keeping them there is great reward!” Psalm 19:10-11

NCHE Conference!

We are looking forward to our ninth North Carolinians for Home Education Conference! There are only two days left for pre-registration prices. Register before midnight, May 7, and receive a free conference T-shirt! I will be presenting two workshops this year:

G Dr. Matthew McDill, Equip Children for Life with Three Critical Skills (Room E-G)

What will my children really remember after homeschool? (What do I remember from school?) Will my children have the skills necessary to be life-long learners? There are at least three important skills that will equip our children to succeed in any endeavor of life: 1) Research (finding the information they need); 2) Critical thinking (evaluating the information they find); 3) Communication (passing on the information they think is valuable). Come explore the importance of these skills and practical ways to teach them.

G Dr. Matthew McDill, A Basic Educational Strategy (South Main 3)

How do I know I am giving my children what they really need? For what purpose am I preparing them? How can I most effectively teach them? Are there faulty objectives and strategies I have unintentionally carried over from public education? Even those who have been teaching their children at home for years still struggle with these questions. Our answers influence our priorities and strategies. In this session, we will discuss a basic biblical philosophy of education upon which our daily teaching activities can be built.