I had a meeting with my oldest son yesterday. It was our weekly scheduled meeting.

He sat down and said, “Do you have anything to say?” I laughed because this was a strange way to start the conversation. I assumed that he was asking because he didn’t have any particular educational or life topics to bring up and we were headed toward a short meeting. Boy was I wrong!

“If you don’t, I have something I want to talk with you about.”

Then my son, who is normally short on words and personal interaction, unloaded some very heavy topics he was dealing with. He is facing some serious interpersonal, moral, and worldview challenges at work. Normal life stuff. Stuff we all have to deal with eventually. I am so glad he is dealing with it while he is still at home. Most importantly, I am glad that he is willing to talk with me about it. He shared the raw details. He shared his thoughts and struggles. He was open to advice and direction.

I am convinced that if we did not have this scheduled appointment, that this conversation may not have happened. Many conversations like this come up in unplanned conversations with my kids. But I have a lot of kids, so private, unplanned conversations are rare.

I have made it a priority to have closed door, one-on-one conversations with my kids, especially the older ones. Making it a priority means putting it on the calendar. There have been times that I knew I needed to have these private conversations with my kids, and I determined to keep a look out for the opportunities to come along. Some did, but not enough. Not nearly enough.

So now I have scheduld, weekly, one-on-one meetings with each of my teens.

Maybe a scheduled meeting wouldn’t go over so well with your teen right now. Here’s a great way to start: take them out for lunch, coffee, or dessert. Be prepared with questions. Have a good time. And listen. Ask more questions and keep listening. Don’t offer unsolicited advice. Listen. This will be a solid start toward the kind of relationship you’d like to have.

If you have an questions or tips for parenting teens, leave them in the comments below.

"Parents cannot abdicate the teaching of finances to the schools, because the schools aren't teaching it. It's astounding to think that you can get through elementary school, high school, and college and still not know how to balance a checkbook, or buy a home, or decide what kind of insurance you need. But, unfortunately, that's the norm."

You will find this paragraph in the introduction of the Money Matters for Teens Workbook by Larry Burkett with Todd Temple. For those of us who have children in public (and probably even private) school, this is a helpful reminder that we cannot depend on the schools to prepare our children for life. In addition to teaching practical matter of life (like finances), Christian parents have to remember that God has given us the responsibility to disciple our children (Deut 6:4-9; Eph 6:4). We cannot depend on others to fulfill this role in our children's lives (not even the church!).

For those of us who homeschool our children, this norm only confirms our reasoning for home education. But it is probably still worth asking home educators: Are you making sure to include personal finance in your teaching plan? We are using this workbook as a part of ours.

One more reason that teaching personal finance to our children is important: "It's sad that half of all marriages today fail and, overwhelmingly, the major factor is the mismanagement of money."

[Photo by Olly Joy on Unsplash]